My Stupid Brother

A show about a very smart little girl who hates her older mentally retarded brother. Coming to PBS Kids™ this spring. Retardz rejoice!

Bluegrass Rules

One day, on my birthday about 10 years ago, I was driving into work. I thought, "Fuck that shit, it's my birthday!" and I turned around and drove to a music store. I bought my first banjo. I never went back to work again. Here's Bill Monroe with friends:

One to Grow On™

Portrait: Mother & Dog

More Unfinished Comixz!

How Droll...

Sexually Active Older Gentleman

Crack Babies!!!!

The Crack Babies do what they got to do, yo. It ain't easy growing up with a 100$ a day habit.



The boy is Wooster. He's a rambunctious young feller with a sentient distended belly named Ahab. Ahab is a criminal mastermind, btw.



Juicy Eunice can secrete magical juices from her pores. Her fried chicken legs provide a regenerating food source for the trio.



Snarfy is the wild man of the group. He's like a feral child who was born with skull displacing sinus cavities. It allows him to make all kinds of useless sounds.

Here are a few panels from the opening bit:







2 B Continued....

Robot Jones Character Development

Here's a retrospective: Early doodles of character stuff from Robot Jones!




The above drawing was the original Cubey idea. He was a lttle nerdy guy. Robot was supposed to relate to Cubey's intellect because he was like a kid genius. Like solving the Rubik's cube and stuff. Which he still did in the "Cube Wars" episode, even though he no longer looked or acted nerdy. Pretty neat.



These are a few color ideas for an early Robot Jones design. I like the 80's airbrush metallic one myself.

An early Mitch. He was pretty ready to go from the beginning.

Socks, Robot Jone's best pal. Drawn in pink crayola marker.

A super early Mr. McMcmc. This is a drawing of a teacher I had in high school, Mr. McManus. He was really into running marathons. On Monday's, he would wear a T-shirt from the weekend's marathon event over his dress shirt and tie. I didn't have him as a teacher for too long because I failed Alegebra 2.

More Robot Jones from the vault coming soon!

Unfinished Comix

I went thru a box of old drawings today. I noticed alot of comics that just never got finished. You can make up your own endings if you want. Interactive!

Thanks, internet!

For allowing humankind to evolve one step further towards his ultimate ideal.

Iconic Melodrama

Enjoy this epic tale of love, lust, royalty, innocence, betrayal, sorrow, revenge and more!

More Family Funnyz!

Family Funnyz!

Altair Al' Qatar

ARAMEC (Seven Kingdoms of the Sand)

Aramec is a far eastern land containing seven kingdoms which are cut off from the rest of the world by the largest desert in Marranor, El Scorcho. The desert surrounds Aramec for a hundred miles on all sides, and is inhabited by the chaotic, warring elementals of earth, fire, air and water. The cities of Aramec are united and made habitable by a peaceful race of water genies known as the Sul'ar. These water elementals are strict pacifists, who shepherded the early humans in that region and created The Oasis, which made their mortal lives unimaginably more comfortable. The humans of Aramec vow to protect the Sul'ar with their army, The Knights of the Seven.

The seven noble families of Aramec have accumulated wealth beyond the comprehension of most commoners in the west. They have natural resources such as petroleum oil, exotic glass blowing traditions, masterwork jewelery and the richest most intricately woven textiles in Marranor. For more than a century, the Al' Qatar family has been renowned as the Royal Merchants to the Sheikhs of Aramec. They themselves are a noble house, and they took it upon themselves to be the blood of the Arameki economy's veins generations ago. They organize and facilitate trade between the kingdoms and even import and export rare items by way of the treacherous Pass of Vurduk which is near their home, Palace Al' Qatar. At the moment, the wealthy mercantile is run by the three Al' Qatar brothers, Altair, Alzeir, and Alfeir.

Two months ago, Aramec was attacked by a massive army of elementals from the plane of fire. The Knights of the Seven had never encountered elementals as powerful as these and their numbers were too shallow to defend the Oasis and it's inhabitants. A massive firestorm swept thru the kingdoms and Human and Sul'ar alike, met their doom.

Altair Al' Qatar, with his years of personal experience traversing the Pass of Vurduk, barely made it out safely with a few treasured trinkets. He made his way westward to Jademouth Port, a city he had been to several times on import/export business. He has a few contacts there, mostly other traders and merchants, and he takes refuge there for the time being. He is far from home in a land where the inhabitants have scarcely heard of his homeland, and even some who have insist it's only a myth. He wonders of the fate of his brothers who were conducting transactions near the Oasis-side kingdoms where the attack was centered, and if he will ever see them again. In his heart, he hopes to go one day go back to help rebuild Aramec if at all possible since he has a deep pride in his bloodline and cultural history. These days Altair works freelance. In the last 2 months, he has worked as an appraiser, a repo-man, and transport security. Using his knowledge of the marketplace as well as his mighty falchion, he earns his keep while he plans out how to find his lost kin and restore the prestige and heraldry of his beloved homeland.


Altair escaped his demolished homeland with these 3 items:

1) Masterwork Falchion

2) Magic Carpet: works as follows:

Altair can activate the carpet 2/day by standing or sitting on it and saying a command word. The carpet has a low magic intelligence which lets it know a few specific arcane spells associated with the commands. Altair must be of the required level or higher in order for the carpet to respond to a particular command as indicated in the table below:

Level 1: Mount: Carpet hovers around 5ft up
Level 2:
Level 3: Levitate: Carpet can lift or lower rider
Level 4:
Level 5: Fly: Carpet can fly with (good) maneuverability
Level 6:
Level 7: Dimension Door: Carpet teleports you 400 ft
Level 8:
Level 9: Plane Shift: Carpet transports you to another plane

Special notes: Carpet is 5x5 ft, only 1 can ride and be affected by it's spell. Spell's caster level is equal to Altair's level. DM may call for ride checks as appropriate. Altair hopes to one day use the Plane Shift ability to reconnect to his friends the Sul'ar, a race of water elemental genies.

3) Magic Genie Lamp: works as follows:

Altair can activate the lamp 3/week by rubbing the lamp and saying a command word. This action summons a genie who can assist Altair in one of two ways: The genie can cast the spell Unseen Servant as guided by Altair, or as he gains levels, can be asked to cast any one arcane spell, as long as Altair's level meets the spell level requirement indicated in the table below AND he succeeds at a Knowledge(Arcana) check with a DC of 13+spell level to see if he can describe or name a spell. Summoning the genie and asking him for a spell is a full round action. If the knowledge check is successful, the genie immediately vanishes to another plane and returns after a number of rounds equal to the spell level and casts the spell at Altair's command. If the command is not immediately given, the genie returns to the lamp after waiting dutifully for 1 min/level. The genie is a pacifist, he will not attack or harm any living thing directly. Any gray areas must be taken up with the genie himself who speaks Aquan. He is tiny sized and can Liquify himself at will.

Level 1: Unseen Servant
Level 2:
Level 3: Level 1 Arcane Spells
Level 4:
Level 5: Level 2 Arcane Spells
Level 6:
Level 7: Level 3 Arcane Spells
Level 8:
Level 9: Level 4 Arcane Spells


Special notes: Spell's caster level works at Altair's level. This Genie is a lesser water elemental from the Sul'ar race. He cannot fight or interact physically, nor does he linger after his task has been accomplished.